Being in a relationship is a fun feeling. Your boyfriend is always nearby if you’re craving a chicken burrito with guac from Chipotle, or if you just want to (unsuccessfully) try persuading him into watching (500) Days of Summer at the house again. You’ll always be there for each other, right?
Well, you’ve probably already heard about the American divorce rate of death…it isn’t exactly new stuff. According to studies performed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) only about 50% of you will always be there for your current boyfriend or husband. Sorry if that’s terrible news. American relationships are actually more like wild coin flips that you can somewhat control. Marriage is a weird concept today that most people aren’t even really sure about anymore. Most people within our younger generation are satisfied with the classic boyfriend & girlfriend relationship until things get “serious” – whatever that means. Getting “serious” is usually a rollercoaster of being on and off together for two or three years, with lots of semi-marriage crises and questions of “When the f*** are you going to marry to me?”
But being unmarried in our generation brings mixed feelings of “YOLO” and “God I need a boyfriend.” It’s a confusing battle.
No one said that being in a relationship was easy. However they sure can be fun when there’s a natural connection between couples. Having that chemistry is so important. Just watch out for some of these common mistakes that couples make, and you can try to ensure that your relationship survives the 50/50 statistic of “happily married” or “forever clubbing with the girls.”
- Telling your significant other everything you know. So being in a dyadic relationship is important. You’re going to share your most intimate thoughts and experiences with each other. And for the most part, you should be letting it all out. This is a huge strengthener in relationships as long as both partners are contributing. You’re building a bond that no other couple in the world can have. Then an explosive in your relationship goes off and someone drops the bomb. “The bomb” is usually a story or comment that is indirectly explained in a drunken state, or is casually overheard by one partner in a relationship. This bomb of a story usually dates back to the possibility of having a secret love child in one’s former college town, a certain ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, or 2012’s spring break in Mexico (with lots of tequila involved). The story wasn’t really meant to be told, but it was anyway. These verbal bombs can be insanely difficult to recover from and are best avoided if you cherish your relationship.
- Just “taking a break.” So you want to take a break from a relationship? You should’ve just explained that you felt like having relentless sex with anyone wielding a penis. I’ve never understood how some couples can just call a timeout in their relationship and basically say “okay, let’s both go hookup with whoever we want and then come back to each other in a month and not talk about the details.” There’s no way this strategy is therapeutic to relationships. It doesn’t work. “We’re either going to work this problem out or it’s over,” should be the mutual decision.
- Getting too attached. I’m convinced that this is the number one relationship killer. Yes, you can get too attached to your man. Attraction is a really weird thing because we all truly want what we can’t have. Then we finally catch someone who we’ve desired, and we naturally want more and more from that person.
Eventually one partner in a relationship notices that the other is becoming too attached and that behavior is then actually seen as unattractive. Weird, right? It happens all the time. We as humans always want what we can’t have. When someone “wants us” too much and it’s obvious, we know that we have the power over that person.
The key to combatting the behavior of getting too attached is to just approach your relationship casually. Have the best relationship that you possibly can, but act like it wouldn’t be a big deal if your partner left tomorrow. Or better yet, know for a fact that it wouldn’t be a big deal. That gives you the upper hand and power in every single one of your relationships for life.
If your partner carries that same attitude, then you’ll probably both have a kickass relationship where each of you is equally a “power partner.” Think Jay Z and Beyoncé.